It's My Life and I'm sitting

On the sidelines, watching
it pass me by, I'm leaving you my legacy.
I gotta make my mark, I gotta run it hard.
I want you to remember me.

I'm leaving my fingerprints.
fingerprints - katy perry


All my friends are telling me that it is a bad idea. I think they have come to terms with the fact that the only person who is going to stop me is him. He has all the control, as per usual. I'm going to go along with whatever happens. But it's different this time, my friends are worried it will fuck me up, but I don't see it happening again like that. I don't know what it is that is making myself do this. I'm curious.
Saturday probably wont pull off anyway, I cannot really see my dad ever leaving me by myself again after last time, and I don't blame him. If the boot was on the other foot, I would have probably strangled me, and would never, ever trust me again. He hasn't said anything yet, so I'm hoping he's not like me, and has trusted me. I'm never going to challenge his trust again.


I'm not happy, and I don't know why.