Wait, do you see, my heart on my sleeve?

It's been there for days on end...

I am never wearing my heart on my sleeve again. I'll be relatively fine up until he texts me again and I wont be able to stop myself texting back, as always, because I'm curious. I want to see what he has to say. Maybe this time he wont text again. Pretend he's forgotten all about me, probably not even pretend, just generally forget about me. I wouldn't blame him. I only wish that I could forget about him. We have so much to talk about, so much in common, but when I'm around him I can't voice anything. When I'm around him I do and say the stupid things. When our conversation comes to an awkward end I ask him when he's next thinking on coming to see me... like last time, and he realises I miss him and I can't deny it. I don't think I miss him, I miss us, I miss his his smell and his voice and his hug and his kiss. It's like he has a duty to come and see me, like he feels like he has to in order to keep everyone happy. I wish he'd come because he wanted to, not because he knows I want him to. I wish I knew completeley where I stand. I don't know what the hell we are, I don't even think there is a word that describes it. I hardly even know him, it's not friendship that we share but it's nothing more, I don't think I want it to be anymore. Despite this, I keep on remembering what he sounds like when he laughs and it actually makes me want to cry, that's how lovely that sound is. I actually think I'm going insane.

Adele makes me happy. Her singing on my ipod sends shivers down my spine because her voice is literally incredible. Like nothing I've heard before. Much better than warbling Duffy or even Amy Winehouse (I should just say, Duffy is incomparable to both Amy Winehouse, Duffy is shit and annoys me an immense ammount. Winehouse actually has talent too.) I love Adele as a person as well, she's lovely.

If I were gay... I'd fancy her. Not as much as I'd fancy Lily Allen, but Adele is more talented than Lily Allen, so therefore almost as much. Amazing

The Apprentice starts again tonight. I'm so excited. The Apprentice makes me ambitious. It makes me happy to see people with ambition and people wanting to acheive something. Though I am not like this, as I would rather get distracted than do any work. I think I did some kind of record for me last night, by spending 3 hours doing my History. However it's all caught up with me, tonight I intend to finish my French and get some Textiles done. But this all, of course, has to be fitted around a tight television schedule which includes Friends (it's the ones with Eddie!), Hollyoaks and of course Alan Sugar in The Apprentice. What are the chances I'll get any work done? Not high.


But, despite,
The truth that I know.
I find it hard to let go,
And give up on you.
Seems I love the things you do.
Like the meaner you treat me,
The more eager I am,
To persist,
With this heartbreak,
And running around.
And I think that I know,
Things may never change.
I'm still hoping one day,
I might hear you say,

I make you feel a way
You've never felt before.
And I'm all you need
And that you never want more.
And we'll say all
Of the right things,
Without a clue.
And you'll be the one for me
And me the one for you.
Best for Last - Adele