16

It's my birthday tomorrow.
16 is a shit age, stuff is expensive.


I dreamt again. It is always the same dream, or thereabouts, boring to remember but also just, nice. I always wake up and want to scream in frustration at the fact I can't seem to have a waking moment without him in my thoughts and now I can't seem to sleep without conjuring up a boring situation where things are just how they used to be.
I also keep coming up with bizarre and romantic situations in my imagination. When I catch myself doing that I also want to just, die.
The thing that's getting to me is the things that I said I said. I'm starting to wonder if I actually have any control over myself when I am around him. It would make sense for all the stupid things I've said/done.

It is definitely not healthy to think about someone this much. I think I am going to go insane.
I will die if he texts me tomorrow, but I'll break apart if he doesn't.


My favourite thing to do is aimlessly travel around on the London tube, except when it's busy.
London is actually pretty cool, it did live up to it's hype. I do quite want to live there.