"Stop snowing throw balls!"

There is a reason that I'm not totally dedicated to my studies/social life etc. I think that the next few weeks of my life will be me with my head in a book.

I had a good day. It snowed! I still have the childish happiness everytime it snows, but much to my dismay, for the first time I wasn't really excited. I always think it's beautiful. There was a passing smile that came across my face when I looked out the window into the half 6 in the morning darkness and saw a thin cover of white, but my smile didn't really last long. Perhaps it's a sign of it being another year and I'm more interested in refraining from falling on my arse. Plus, I was pretty miffed that it had decided to snow the very day that we all had to go back to school, meaning that we couldn't really have fun or take advantage of it. I'm not looking forward to the day when I wake up and look out of my window to snow and curse it, because it means it takes longer to get into work or whatever, I think I'll officially be old then.
I was invited to two parties in the matter of a few hours. One on the 17th and one on the 23rd. The first is the 17th birthday party of a guy who was in the year above me at primary school. Serious, when I was 10 I wanted to marry this boy, and now, 6 years later, there's not much difference. He's a very nice guy, and it was a nice gesture to invite 3 girls who he doesn't know all that well to his party.
With those two parties and remembering that I am actually going to see one of my favourite bands of all time (Bloc Party ftw) on the 29th, this month is going to be amazing, even if the whole education bit of my life is seriously getting me down. I can't wait until school is over and all my exams are out of the way and I can truely make a new start with new people, new teachers at a completely different place. I have to start getting focussed!
I thought about him less today, but to my utter horror that feeling had returned, after I'd been talking to Muppet all night. Oh dear.

I found old pictures of me and him that I had totally forgotten existed. It made me sentimental and actually emotional. It's sweet that I'm still so comfortable with him, I can still tell him anything and still do tell him pretty much everything even if I don't think he cares very much anymore. I still remember he was my best friend and even though things got sour between us I can't really blame him anymore. He brought up the 18th of August 2018, and I wonder that although I know that we wont see each other on that date like previously randomly promised, it would be interesting to see if I realise the date in the future and remember what we said and all the memories that come with the references to him. When I showed him the pictures he was all "I was so ugly!" and I looked at him and saw how much he's changed, so out of my league now and so confident with his looks and he's happier. But I remember thinking he was perfect in every single way and never wanting to lose him, when I finally did it brought despair on me that puts my shitty December to shame. I've seen him once in 6 months, but it's lovely to think that 2 years after meeting him we can still sit on webcam and make each other laugh like the old times. I don't think I'll ever really forget him.

Twilight and the promise of Edward, Emmett and Jasper is way too inviting for me to continue blogging. I want to cut myself from reality, because my reality for me right now is worrying. I've never really classed myself as a worrier, but recently all I've seem to do is worry about school or family or friends etc. Reality is too harsh for me to want to contemplate right now.