Me and my heart, we got issues;

Don't know if I should hate you or miss you.

I wish I could tell you that I've closed the door. I know that you're using me to fall back on and I'm taking that choice away from you. The power is no longer in your hands. I'm tired of waiting for you to realise. You're obviously not as intelligent as I took you for. But, you should trust me when I say, if we'd both tried then it would have worked. In the end you took me for something I'm not, I hate the way you must view me. If I could take that stupid, drunken kiss back or the circumstances in which things started between us I would. You must know that I wasn't happy with him, I thank you that you gave me a reason to get out of it. You weren't just another, you were special. You could have trusted me the moon and back. But it doesn't matter anymore, all these regrets I have are useless, they don't help at all. I'm tired of the only means of communication between us being awkward conversations on MSN and the random text messages you send me, you seem to think that it's enough to fuel our friendship. It's not, and this is the most pathetic excuse for a friendship I've stumbled across. I'm just starting to view you as a pathetic little boy with not enough balls to just bite the bullet and come and see me. The awkwardness as we contemplate all that's happened between us in the last few months is inevitable, but we'll have to do it sometime. I wish you'd just man up.

I'm shattered. School is actually draining me. All I want to do is sleep and read Twilight (which by the way, is more than facing up to it's high expectations.) I have English coursework to write up and History notes to right, a lot of Geography homework and finally, I should really get on with my Textiles coursework and prove to my teacher I'm capable of more than a bloody B!